So my parents just found out about my fourteen year old brother smoking weed because they found this on his window ledge. So in the middle of a huge lecture my dad decides to open the Baggie and smell it to see how strong it is. He immediately starts crying with laughter. THIS NIGGA HAS BEEN BUYING AND SMOKING FUCKING OREGANO. FUCKIN ITALIAN HERBS. SON. I CAN’T. I CANNOT. I CAN’T DO THIS.
This isn’t funny. That’s the gateway drug to a full blown marinara addiction. It’s good this was caught before this kid started hanging out at Olive Garden and sucking on every breadstick he can find to score another hit.
IT GOT BETTER.
the sherlock to my watson
the kurt to my blaine
the glinda to my elphaba
Anxiety isn’t a fashion statement it’s a miserable disorder with actual real uncontrollable symptoms that eat you alive and distance you from the people you love so stop making it “trendy”
i cut a dude off in a fedora on the freeway today and i think he straight bit his thumb at me
so today i learned that in the late 1800s-early 1900s, the navy became concerned about possible homosexual activity among their sailors
so they sent in decoys, whose job was to pretend to want to engage in homosexual activity in order to find gay sailors
except then the job of the decoy got popular
like, really popular
like… worryingly popular?
reports said that the decoys were performing their jobs with “much enthusiasm and zeal”
eventually the navy decided. to. just stop.
musicals that reference other musicals
i love when girls think other girls are copying them because they dye their hair the same color like you did not invent red hair
Thank you SwiftKey for providing the most accurate word predictions
today my sister asked me for a glass of cold water and i sarcastically asked her “how cold” and she said “as frigid as your love life”
#it’s like the last day of shore leave #and kirk and spock are just relaxing and all of a sudden kirk is like ”shit! we forgot to get something for the kids!” #and spock is all ”captain you don’t have to get presents for the crew every time - ” #and kirk just interrupts with ”CHEKOV’S FACE.” #and spock considers this and then wordlessly gets up and heads in the direction of the souvenir stand
this somehow makes me really emotional and if you ship crisscolfer and don’t tear up a bit over this gif your heart is a stone